Who wins - Sylvester Stallone vs David Carradine

May 9, 2008

Posted in: Movies, Reviews

Tags: Annie Smith, David Carradine, Death, Death Race 2000, Frankenstein, gimp, movie, Mr President, Rambo, review, Sylvester Stallone, Thomas Paine, Thomasina Paine, vinyl

It seems like a simple question right? Well go rent a copy of Death Race 2000 and find out.

In this corner wearing pink shorts, with a slightly stroked out left side weighing in at a hefty 13 stones (sounds cool huh, I don’t really know his weight, but 13 stones comes out to be like ~175lbs).

He looks pretty tough over there in his matching pin stripped helmet/sport coat huh?

Look at the intensity on his face, he’s driving to win, and taking no names, he’ll even stoop to strangling a girl to win.

Now that doesn’t sound like the lovable Rambo we’ve all come to know now does it?

In the other corner wearing black shorts, tall and lanky weighing in at a slimmish 11 stones.

“Bring out the gimp” comes to mind as he looks at you through his black vinyl sout, and black rubber mask.

But could he be the dominator with a heart of gold? The one man who can end the dictatorial presidency of Mr President?

He doesn’t take the easy way out, avoiding an easy kill of old people to go for the doctors and nurses who put them out.

The match up seems fair enough. The year is set, in the future past, 2000. It seems as though we’re going through a economic crisis (brought about by the French), and only the French could be so rebellious to be the cause behind the rash of sabotages of other racers.

Most striking, the real top dog behind them is an aging, decrepit old woman, who happens to go by the name of Thomasina Paine, which sounds an awful lot like Thomas Paine, in fact it seems as though she’s a direct descendant of him. She works her magic and gets her granddaughter in as Frankensteins navigator all in preparations for some tom foolery.

While the movie is as B as they come, it’s always interesting and fun to watch them and how they portray the future past.

There is nudity, there is some language, and there is some Italian western style too red blood in it. The main thing, there’s lots of camp!

Oh, and to answer the question, David Carradine wins, he beat the snot out of Sylvester in a horrible fake fight in the garage, plus to pour salt into that wound, Sylvester was billed below the unknown actress who played Annie Smith (Thomasina’s granddaughter) - Huzzah!

Posted in Movies, Reviews